Beginners Blues – ½ dozen issues every learner faces

As it is with many hobbies, there is a learning curve when we first begin (or are beginning again). This “curve” is filled with all sorts of obstacles to our sticking with it and many quit during this phase. Although there is nothing that can replace “stick-to-it-iveness” and patience, having some knowledge ahead of time can save you a lot of grief. So, before we even pick up our first drum or sing a scale, let’s learn about the bumps in the road that may lay ahead…

Although everyone’s learning journey is uniquely their own, there are some common patterns which most of us will experience as we dive into the learning (or re-learning) process. Here then are a half dozen of the more common issues you will likely encounter, as well as a suggested solution for each. I don’t offer “the” solution because there is no one solution, and you will discover your own as well. It is helpful to get out a journal here and write down your own issues and solutions (and be sure to add them in the comments below, we LOVE to hear from readers!)

1) The “Barrier”
You know that thought you have right before you head to the gym, or sit down to finish an important paper, that little voice that says “I really don’t feel in the mood for this right now…I’ll just do it later today…”. And you either succumb to that voice, the voice of procrastination, or you force yourself up off the couch do your duty. But it almost feels as if you have to break through a barrier, some sort of invisible wall, before you can begin the activity you know you should be doing. You know that feeling? Of course you do.
I call this “the Barrier”. It is that layer of resistance that will often come in between you your “practice time”. Later on, when your enjoyment overtakes the aches and pains of beginner-hood, the Barrier will fade. But when you are just beginning to learn the ropes this is often the biggest issue we encounter, because it stops us before we even begin.
A solution: Sheer will power. Yep. No pretty answer for this one. Just tell yourself to stop whining, get up off your *** and get to it! This is where music lessons can be very helpful as well, as having paid for something and scheduled it is often a powerful motivator in our left-brained and guilt-based culture. Not quite as sincere as true desire, but better than nothing!

2) Impatience
Unless we are a saint, anything we are not very good at we are bound to have some impatience with. Your mind will say something like “I’m just not getting this! Heck with it, I’m quitting…”
First we must realize that impatience is a natural emotion, and is actually just the undesirable flipside of desire. We desire to be good at something, and the more we desire it, the more we want it. NOW. We must remind ourselves that all good things take time (I know, it’s easy to say), and to try to be happy with the simple things we can already do.
A solution: When that voice in your head tells you that “you’re just not getting it, I quit”, don’t argue, play along, and take a break! If you try to charge ahead and continue your activity with feelings of impatience and frustration, you will only attach negative emotions to your experience. This will then create negative memories which will color your experience in the future. I have found it far more effective to have a series of very short practices, with lots of breaks, then to try to force longer sessions. So, lot’s of breaks and keep it short and fun!

3) Discomfort
All mental shenanigans aside, there is also the purely psychical side of learning any instrument, including voice. You are training your body to do things it’s not used to, and asking it to change for you, over time. Most musical instruments require the combined effort of holding them properly, putting your hands and fingers in the right place at the right time, as well as learning and remembering rhythms and melodies. Singing, body percussion and just about any musical activity places certain demands on our body.
Consider that you are building strength in certain muscles, as well as a lot of coordination and the holding of postures. It is very much like yoga when you think about it; more demanding than it can appear at first.
So, it is inevitable that we will encounter some level of discomfort at times during this process.
A Solution: The trick here is. once again, not to try to tough it out and force through, that will only lead to injury and more frustration. First, listen to your body, find out exactly where the discomfort is occurring, and then move around, re-position yourself until the pain is minimized. I say “minimized” because there are certain aches and pains that we just have to accept, like getting callouses and building new muscles. But pains that are consistent and bothersome need to be attended to. You will learn the difference between “good” and “bad” pain in this process. “Good” pain is simply your body getting used to something new and adapting to it. “Bad” pain means that you are doing something wrong, and need to change it before you create injury.
The next key is to sloooow down and take “smaller bites”. Often, our discomfort is simply a symptom of trying to do too much too fast. So, remember the phrase “baby steps” and re-focus on the basics. And of course, take lots of breaks!

4) Being Self Conscious
We have all had the experience of feeling self conscious. Some of us more than others, but even the most confident have felt that twinge of nervousness and self doubt, even if they hid it better than the rest. The interesting thing about the phenomenon of feeling “self conscious” is that seems to be primarily triggered by the presence of others. I consider myself to be a very non-threatening and enjoyable music teacher, but even I have students who freeze up when trying to play something for me, and tell me they could play it fine at home.
Being “self conscious” is a combination of being worried what others may think of you (of being judged or graded), and your own self-expectations (I “should” be able to do this, I “better” be able to do this). One feeling comes from fear of being judged by another, and the other simply from judging ourselves!
A Solution: We must remove the internal Judge, who sits there with his black robes and stern frown. But the antidote is surprisingly simple: Silliness! If we can laugh at ourselves, and let go of our expectations to perform something flawlessly, the Judge is left powerless. This is why small children often learn much easier than us “adults”, because they have not yet become poisoned by perfectionism. They just want to PLAY, and LAUGH, and HAVE FUN. This is why you are learning music in the first place, remember?
For the more gung-ho, there is also a useful trick I call “nerve inoculation”. It means to expose yourself to very mild “social situations”, and slowly increase the exposure so you can build up your “shell”, or lack of concern for what others may think, over time.
One of the exercises I use with my students is called the “Park bench Drill”. I instruct them to bring their instrument (or vocal cords) to their local park on a weekend, find a bench and begin to practice/play/sing. The presence of other people strolling by provides just enough stress to get used to it, without being overwhelmed. One can adjust the amount of exposure as well by altering what day and time they go, or how far off into the trees they choose to hide.

5) Seriousness and Perfectionism
As discussed in previous sections, Seriousness and Perfectionism can lead to both frustration and self-consciousness. These evil twins are sadly the cause of many giving up on their hobby, often at an early age because of teachers who made the learning experience unenjoyable. Now, this is not to say that there is no value in taking ones studies with a degree of seriousness and to strive to do the best they can.
However this approach is best reserved for those aspiring to join a symphony or win contests. The truth is, Seriousness and Perfectionism really have no place in Recreational Music! Unfortunately, the “evil twins” seem to be ingrained in so much of our Western culture, and so many parents have uttered the deadly phrase “You need to get more serious or we’re going to take you out of lessons!”.
As we discovered in previous chapters, one of the leading causes of people giving up music earlier in life is because of these expectations being imposed upon them. And often, tragically, we continue to impose them on ourselves long after the mean piano teacher is gone.
A Solution: Unfortunately these issues may take some conscious de-programming, where you’ll have to repeatedly remind yourself that you are a Recreational Musician, and your motives are simply to have fun and enjoy yourself and the journey. Depending on the damage you may have received earlier in life, this may take some “personal therapy” and won’t happen overnight. Don’t feel bad, this is normal, and for 70% of those who stopped playing music at some point, IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT. Forgive yourself, and know that you are about to have more fun than you ever dreamed making music.
The other antidote is to let go of all expectations. You shouldn’t “expect” anything other than learn to make fun sounds and have a silly, fun and even ridiculous good time! Remind yourself that you have no deadlines, no upcoming concerts or auditions. (and if you do, what the heck are you thinking!)
If your music develops into something more formal in the future, more power to you. But let that happen naturally, and focus on the NOW of being playful with the process and keeping the experience enjoyable.

6) Frustration
Commonly the result of the previously discussed issues, frustration is usually a symptom, not a cause. So if you are sincerely addressing all these to the best of your ability, you should have already lowered your levels of frustration significantly.
First, we need to understand that the emotion of frustration is hardwired into our brains. From the very first exasperated cry of a baby trying to crawl to reach a shiny object, to the toddler knocking over his building blocks and walking away because his tower won’t stand up, we get frustrated when things wont go our way.
Ironically the answer lies with the baby and the toddler: the baby eventually rolls over and focuses on the next shiny object, and the toddler wanders off to find something else to knock over. Eventually, they will wander back and try again, after their frustration has died down and their interest has rekindled. We grownups, with our unfortunate programming to “be serious and don’t stop till we get it right”, have often lost this ability to follow our natural instinct to flow with the cycle of go and stop, off and on, try and then break. Same as the solution for physical discomfort (issue #3), the solution here is to take breaks! After all, “frustration” is also pain and discomfort, but in the mind. The muscle of your mind is getting a cramp. So, go make some coffee, water your plants, take a walk around the block, and then come back to it refreshed.

Remember, it’s only life after all, so take it all with a grain of salt, and…NEVER EVER GIVE UP!

Share this!